Communicating with secondary school-aged students
This chapter includes guidance for communications with secondary school-aged students. For guidance for communications with primary school students, refer to Implementation resource – tips for communicating with students and parents and carers .
Conditional confidentiality
When a student discloses their intent to self-harm or expresses their emotional distress through self-harm, school staff should carefully explain the limits to the student’s privacy and confidentiality. That is, that their personal and health information may be used or disclosed, even without their consent, in certain circumstances such as the following:
- to other school staff to enable school staff to appropriately manage the health, wellbeing and education of a child or group of children
- to external agencies or parents/carers if there is a serious risk to their health, safety or welfare
- to external agencies or parents/carers if there is a serious risk to another person’s health, safety or welfare
- to other school staff in order to be able to provide a suitable and safe workplace for all school staff (occupational health and safety obligations).
For more information, refer to the Privacy and Information Sharing policy.
Educators might say one of the below phrases when explaining conditional confidentiality:
- 'Anything you tell me is confidential unless I’m worried about your safety or someone else’s safety. If I’m concerned, I’ll need to tell someone like the principal because your safety is the most important thing.'
- 'Our conversation is just between you and me unless I become so worried about your safety that I need to get someone else involved. If that happens, we will discuss what details are to be shared with the principal (or another member of staff) to keep you safe.'
Remember
Consulting with colleagues for guidance and support is an important step in the process of ensuring that staff and the student receive the appropriate level of care.
The table below identifies key considerations for educators when engaging a secondary school students in a conversation about their mental health and wellbeing. Seek professional support and guidance from your colleagues and avoid managing any concerns or difficulties on your own.
| Do | Don't | Why? |
|---|---|---|
| Be as open with the young person as possible. | Engage a young person in a conversation in front of their peers, or in a space or at a time that is not conducive to inviting them to share their thoughts and feelings. | Young people will talk to people who they have a relationship with and do so where they feel safe. |
| Be transparent about limits of confidentiality. | Agree to keep secrets – it is possible that the young person’s safety is at risk from their self-harming behaviours. | In the event a young person discloses their self-harming behaviour to you, or you suspect they are a danger to themselves or others, it is crucial that you share this information with a member of the leadership team and their parents/carers in order to keep them safe and fulfil your duty of care to them. |
| Look after yourself: get some advice/support for yourself. | Make ultimatums or try to force the young person to stop as this is likely to make things worse. Furthermore, refrain from sharing personal information and/or crossing professional boundaries. | Supporting a young person who is engaging in self-harming behaviours is incredibly challenging for those supporting them. It is not uncommon to feel hypervigilant and concerned about the mental health and wellbeing of all students. Consulting with colleagues and seeking support for yourself will ensure your role and responsibility to supporting the student is clear and you feel confident in doing so. |
Supporting resource
SAFEMinds Safety provides a list of factors that can be used to determine the significance of the student’s emotional distress and the impact that is having on the student’s usual functioning. Recording data against each of the factors will provide you with a suggested course of action.
How to ask a student if they are self-harming
If an educator has concerns or evidence that a student is engaging in self-harm, it is essential to enquire about these thoughts and behaviours. It is also important to consider who is the most appropriate staff member to have this conversation with the student. For instance, if the student has existing relationships with any wellbeing staff in the school, this would be the most appropriate staff member to have this conversation.
Some signs that indicate a student may be engaging in self-harm include:
- inappropriate clothing for the season, such as long sleeves during high temperatures
- unexplained burns, cuts, scars or other markings on the skin
- unexplained markings on the non-dominant hand
- avoidance of events where participation requires less body coverage, such as swimming carnivals or physical education classes.
How to have the conversation
- Use open ended questions and non-judgemental language, verbal and body language to communicate your support and efforts to keep them safe.
- Demonstrate your openness and care by using positive words and other non-verbal communication as you listen to the student’s concerns. Vulnerable students will often be concerned and hesitant to disclose their thoughts and feelings of self-harm to adults for fear that they will be judged or that their experience will be too hard to handle or shocking.
- Know your personal limitations and ability to engage in this conversation.
It is important that schools have a clearly defined process for escalation and support for staff in response to a self-harm incident involving a student. This includes identifying which staff within the leadership or wellbeing teams to notify when an incident occurs and which staff will coordinate the response. Ensuring clarity regarding the roles and responsibilities of all staff will further support the early identification and improved mental health and wellbeing outcomes for students engaging in self-harm. It is recommended that all staff review and familiarise themselves with this process and required actions annually.
Remember
A formal assessment of risk should always be conducted by an appropriate staff member following a disclosure of self-harm. All evidence of self-harm needs to be appropriately assessed, reported to school leadership and recorded by the school as soon as practicably possible.
Reviewed 28 August 2025